Dear Mr.sperm donor.

Dear Mr. Sperm donor,

Hello Father dearest. How are you? Just in case you wonder, I am doing quite well. Though I am aware that you don't give a shit, I figured this out a while ago actually. In fact, I was a fool to think you could care about anyone but yourself. Just in case I was wrong though, here's a memo to tell you how your daughter is doing.

Well, where to start? I'm gay, much, I'm sure, to you're disgust. I have a girlfriend, who I love more than anything. She's beautiful, unique, and everything I could have dreamed of and more. I'd say I'd like you to meet her, but I don't. I'd hate for her to think I'm anything like you. Other than that, I'm back to school, Taking English honours 10, science 10, writing 12, P.E 10, socials 10, mathematics 10, planning 10, and I'm a T.A for a P.E 9/10 class. If you gave a damn, I'd say that's something to be proud of your daughter for, I'd say it's a pretty good course choice. Not to mention I got into a grad course in grade 10. Obviously I didn't get my brain from you.

By the way, I am very sorry for your losses, your mother and father passed, correct? I miss grandma Stell, unlike you, I thought she was pretty cool. I regret that I never got to meet my grandpa, I'm sure he was cool to, since I heard you didn't like him either. Did you know? My Dad passed away a year ago, march 11th 2006. Though I guess you don't really care. You never did like Jesse did you. Probably because he was 1000 times the man you'll ever be, and he was much cooler.

Sincerely,
your daughter who hates your guts.
you do remember me don't you?
well, you do now.

Ah Wisconsin. Land of the cheese. and boredom.

I set off at 3am on august 19th. Arriving in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at 11pm. Gramma will be waiting, a large sign and ecstatic grin plastered on her weary face. Hugs, kisses, an offer to get my bag, rejected. Bags grabbed, How was the flight? Am I hungry? Did I have any troubles getting through customs? The car will fill with country music, foot tapping, questions diligently answered. The room, flamingo plastered, old bed. Soft carpet, rather sleep there. No, no, I'll be much more comfortable on the bed. Awake at night, creaking springs. Just don't move. And don't think about the long week ahead, and how much you miss your own room, friends, and above all, don't think about a week without the one person you can't live without.

Shit happens, Eat chocolate! (Previously nightmares and narcotics)

Needs

I don't need presents, I need clothes when mine don't fit or are ripped.
I don't need to go out for dinner every 5 days, I need proper food for everyday.
I don't need a clean box house in a shit whole neighbor hood, I need a normal house were I can go out with out getting the crap beaten out of me, and room to move around.
I don't need you to tell me "good job" when I do something well, I need you to tell me you to tell me "it's okay" when I do something wrong.
I don't need you to tell me you love me for the times I meet your expectations, I need you to tell me you love me for the times when I am me.
I don't need a fancy car for when you drive me places, I need a way to get around when you can't.
I don't need new books, I need proper glasses so I can read them.
I don't need a fancy toothbrush, I need a dentist appointment to fix my teeth.
I don't need 100 hundred popular friends to be seen around, I need 1 friend I want to be seen with.
I don't need a boyfried I don't like so I can seem cool, I need a girlfriend I love so I can be me.

keep

I can't keep doing this
I can't keep it up
I can't keep doing this
I'm falling apart
My world is spinning
it doesn't make sense
what the hell did I do
to deserve this mess?
Strings of feathers
whispering words
My past is a tether
controling the curves
the present's in nether
a land far away
time is gone
never to stay

shivers

Location: along the galloping goose
mood: funk



"shizin blueberrys..." I muttered, stringing together some random words in form of a swear as I almost veered off the trail. The handle bars were not something I was used to, as well as the back pedal brakes, and the height. It was taller than I was used to. I got back going in a straight line, and my breath caught. Looking straight forward, my mind flashed full of unwanted and long suppressed memories. Troy, or rather, someone who looked as much like him to be his twin, was headed straight for me. I flinched, both mentally and physically, as he passed, to close for sanity. "Holy fucking shit." I muttered, completely shaken.

Flashing amnesia

Location: Mustard seed street church, the back
mood: optimistic

"-Want yoooooooooooooou" The voice that had been guiding me flashed out, leaving a yellow flaming boarder around the microphone's note board. A few more hits on the drum, and a "click click click" of the last few strings of the guitar, and there was silence, but for the laughter. " Never heard that song in my life!" I exclaimed, laughing with Rum and Heather.

"Hey! Can I make an announcement?" Chris walked into the room and seated himself on the couch.
"Sure" We said
"If I was to put a set of drums in here, and a microphone stand and get a guitar-" the words came out in a bit of a rush "And you could start making real music?"
We stared, before Rum Exclaimed a short moment before me and Heather what could be roughly translated as "Hellz yea!"

And so, the band is on it's way, wobbling on unsteady stilt feet.

The name; Flashing amnesia.
The band; Rum, Heather, ink, Kat, and Rizzy.
Acoustic guitar being Rum, Heather's on Drums, bass is up to Kat, Rizzy. Well, I don't know what she wants to do, but she can sing, so we'll fit 'er in whether she wants to or not. Vocals are me, Ink. So there we have it, Flashing amnesia.

Here we go!

Flash back

Location: Downtown
Mood: Content enough

"Watch where the hell you're going, shit head" I growled at the man I had just bumped into, shoving him off the curb savagely.

"Hey!" He yelled, it sounded more like a grunt. I looked him over. Just some junkie, I said to myself. He was fairly skinny, his wild hair gave him a primitive look, and his blood shot eyes showed he was barely coherent.

"What? You wanna fight?" A vicious edge to my voice. Putting my hands up, I dropped into a trade mark stance. A few seconds passed, and the man was gone. "heh, least he had some sense." I muttered to myself, lighting up another cigarette, inhaling, and slouching off down the road.
---
"Oh! Sorry!" I exclaimed, pausing to steady the man I had just bumped into. I blinked rapidly as I let go and turned away, the flash back of what would have happened any normal day a few years ago passing in a violent storm.